totally new to this

So I've never blogged before, and I guess ill start with a quick introduction.

My name is madeline, I go by maddie, I'm trying to get people to call me Lynn, its not quite working. You guys can call me Alice or Lynn. I'm currently suffering (living) anorexia nervosa. I guess I could also be called an anoretic (aka anorexic) be be more simple. I am obsessed with fat and calorie count, I always, always eat under eight hundred calories unless I'm bring suspected. I am currently thirteen, my birthday is October twenty-second, nineteen ninety-seven. I play lacrosse on the juniors team for the local highschool. I hope to get a scholarship doing it. I am currently a stable ninety pounds. My highest weight was 110 pounds, my ultimate goal weight is zero, my next goal weight is just 81. I hope to hit that before grade nine. I have decided that if my legs are ever bigger than a small ham I will kill myself. Simple as that. I told some of my friends that but they kept calling me suicidal. And I had to tell them that I was joking. I wasn't. I am currently living in the united states and I am an onion.

I have so many layers that I never know who I am. At school I am the funny stone hearted girl. At home I am the daughter you've always wanted. By myself I am nothing. By myself I am Ana's best friend. It's sometimes so hard to know when I should be funny, when I should be firty, when I should be tough. These are my nanny masks, my layers. Slowly I am burning each and every one. Until I am so small the pants I wear can swallow me. Until I'm at my thinnest. Until I am size nothing.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2